Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Nothing is Lost

I feel like I have been gone too long, but it was just long enough to step back and redirect.  After just a short time of writing, I was lacking inspiration and none too thrilled about my blog entries.  I now feel motivated to move forward.

That moving forward seems to be the theme around here.  Our families space has been a bit like the weather forecast recently, cloudy all day and watch out for those scattered but severe thunderstorms in the afternoon.  I have been feeling stuck in a negative headspace and heartspace, but I am working with it, trying not to resist, and always looking for the lessons of love hidden inside.  I think we are all moving towards a more sunny place, and I hope Mother Nature wants to follow.  Everyday I look outside with longing at all of that soaking wet red clover I long to pick and dry for infusions, but lately, it has been the elder captivating my attention.  I catch myself gazing out of the kitchen window daily at her developing flower buds.

In a difficult moment yesterday I stepped outside into the drizzling rain to try and get a new perspective.  I looked out onto my bountiful, medicinal land and demanded "Which of you is going to help me?".  If made with an earnest heart, I feel the plants do not rebuke or shy away from those with demands.  I needed them.  I stood, waiting, looking from plant to plant, spirit to spirit, trying my best to quiet the turmoil inside and listen.   It was the elder who called me.  I went, barefoot into the tall grass and shin deep ground ivy, stopped and overcame my paralyzing fear of snakes (a metaphor for larger fears I assure you), and stood under her sweeping, blossom laden branches.  She didn't want me to take her medicine, she's not quite ready for full bloom yet, but allowed me to be cradled in her comfort.  A moment of peace, real peace, is what she gave me.  My tears turned from sorrow to release, joy, and gratitude.  I can heal, I can regenerate body and soul.  Learn from this moment.  Nothing is lost.